Healed?

A few days have past since Valentine’s day. I’ve been wondering more recently if it is time to consider searching for romance again.

I say “romance” because I feel as though I have not had a lack of love in this period of healing and personal growth. My family and friends have been incredibly supportive of my journey. But one thought has been plaguing my mind for quite some time. Am I ready for someone new? What if I fall completely head over heels? What if I open up my heart that took so long to heal and they go and break it. I have tasted heartbreak and it’s not something I am eager to dine upon again.

I know myself better now. I have set my boundaries. I don’t expect to mold someone to them, but I know I can’t compromise on my morals, values, and goals like I have in the past. Doing so would lead me back to chaos, a place with no clear paths to or away from.

This reflection sprouted from my mind because of some recent interactions with a particular individual. My heart flutters when I receive a notification from them. My mind is excited to see them even if only for moments out of a whole day. I haven’t yearned for anyone in quite some time, to the point it feels foreign.

My mind says to take a chance, my heart to be cautious, my spirit says to trust in God.

Have you ever felt this way? What made you overcome your fear of vulnerability?